"No one asked me if I thought the alligator was a good idea."
"Songs that were fast, loud, and featured someone screaming, preferably in a language he didn’t understand."
"Carol decided the maniac pounding on her door deserved the kill. The life of a door-to-door murderer, she figured, couldn't be easy."
1
"'Were you a vet or something before?' said Claire. 'You sound like you're talking to a dog.'"
"Before each lesson, Willard liked to treat himself to a moment of hateful anticipation."
1
1
"Chris was contemplating this question, wrist-deep in meat, when the doorbell rang."
"My sister dug the Jack Kavorkian types, spry mummies holding otoscopes to the ears of the world’s Tommys and Tracys with spotted hands."
1
“As two sheets of 8.5 by 11 printer paper, her vague, theoretical predicament was now upsettingly real.”
1
"Already, we have questions. Is she therapist or interrogator?"
2
"Terrorism struck the mayor has hopelessly passé, the political equivalent of the male ponytail."
(Because You're Okay With Everyone Mistreating You)
1
"When White Puke first explained his plan, it sounded like free money."