Archive - Dog Jail

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"No one asked me if I thought the alligator was a good idea."

Jun 9

"Songs that were fast, loud, and featured someone screaming, preferably in a language he didn’t understand."

May 31

"Carol decided the maniac pounding on her door deserved the kill. The life of a door-to-door murderer, she figured, couldn't be easy."

May 10

"'Were you a vet or something before?' said Claire. 'You sound like you're talking to a dog.'"

May 3

"Before each lesson, Willard liked to treat himself to a moment of hateful anticipation."

Apr 26

"Chris was contemplating this question, wrist-deep in meat, when the doorbell rang."

Apr 19

"My sister dug the Jack Kavorkian types, spry mummies holding otoscopes to the ears of the world’s Tommys and Tracys with spotted hands."

Apr 12

“As two sheets of 8.5 by 11 printer paper, her vague, theoretical predicament was now upsettingly real.”

Apr 5

"Already, we have questions. Is she therapist or interrogator?"

Mar 29

"Terrorism struck the mayor has hopelessly passé, the political equivalent of the male ponytail."

Mar 22

(Because You're Okay With Everyone Mistreating You)

Mar 15

"When White Puke first explained his plan, it sounded like free money."

Mar 8

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